1.
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next"

2.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"



The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"



The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"



The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."



A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.



"You're finished already?" he asked.



"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."



Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the 50.



"And by the way," the blonde added, "That's not a Porsche, it's a Ferrari."

3.
A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open. A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out." As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast *is* hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why, officer?" "Well, your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!"

4.
A Young Blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. "I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up. "Oh, no!" the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

5.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are walking through the desert. The brunette turns to the red-head and says, "What did you bring?" The redhead holds up a bag and replies, "I brought this bag of food for when we get hungry. What did you bring?" The brunette says, "I brought this pail of water in case we get thirsty." They both turn to the blonde and say, "What did you bring?" The blonde says, "I brought this car door so that when we get hot we can roll the window down."